Learn to read the subtlest of body language.

dog licking their lips_showing a calming signal

A hiss or a growl is very clear, but did you know that pets will start with very subtle body language that shows they are feeling anxious before they get verbal? These are called calming signals.

Learn to read these signs – and then you can help your pet by letting them move away, or by taking them away from what is making them uncomfortable. If they feel that they are being listened to, they may well quickly bounce back and try again – plus you are building a more trusting relationship with your pet.

Dogs

Signals from a dog who is starting to feel uncomfortable or anxious.

Averted stare (looking away from whatever is causing anxiety). You may also notice ‘whale eye’ where you see the whites of their eyes in the corners.
Lip licking/nose lick or excessive yawning (see the photo above, which also shows a little 'whale eye')
Panting (when not hot or thirsty)
Moving away, possibly trying to hide behind you
Pinning the ears back
Sniffing ground but also eyes are looking up to watch
Turning their back or ignoring
Walking slowly or in a curve away and around what is worrying them
Trembling
Urination
Offering a paw, a tail wag tucked very close in to their bum, licking your face or rolling to show their belly (but quite tense, not in a relaxed ‘rub my belly’ kind of way).
Play bow. This helps the dog to create space and gives them a second to think of their move e.g. moving away or saying hello.

Did you know? Dogs will use the play bow calming signal for both humans and dogs, and it is the most common calming signal to mis-read for play rather than avoidance.

Dogs greeting withthe small dog offering a play bow as a calming signal
Can you see the little dog's calming signals? A play bow to create space, whale eye and ears are pinned back to show discomfort.

Cats

Signals from a cat who is starting to feel uncomfortable or anxious.

These might be confident and friendly cats but who have reached their tolerance threshold.

Tail lashing back and forth or the end of the tail twitching
Jerky movements in the head or body
Rippling fur along the back when touched.
Ignoring you, turning their back
Arching their back to make themselves look bigger

cat ignore_calming signal
The cat ignore - the tail here is also probably whipping back and forth. This cat has had enough attention and needs some space.

Signals from a scared cat.

Squinting of the eyes
Wide eyes and pupils
Slow and careful movements
Yawning or licking lips (not seen as often in cats as with dogs)
Direct eye contact or avoiding eye contact altogether
Ears flattened
Tension in the face leading to seeing white around eyes or whiskers sticking straight out to the side
Blinking very slowly and then looking away
Body pressed close to the ground, but legs are not tucked underneath.

Did you know? Cats often purr or be quite vocal in stressful situations such as at the vet clinic or when travelling in a vehicle. They may also purr when in pain or when they feel unwell to help calm themselves.

cat showing calming signals with arched back and wide eyes
Can you see the calming signals? An arched back to make themselves look bigger, wide eyes and round pupils show that they are uncomfortable.